Before I leave

Am I excited?  YES!
There is a bit of excitement to go to a place that is probably more mythical in my mind than any other place:  England.  The literature itself is mythical:  Tolkien, Lewis, Carroll, Shelley, Wilde . . . so my mental conception of England probably requires quite a bit of deconstruction. I want to taste it, smell it, feel it, see it, hear it!  I want to know what place it has in my life and the lives of others.  What spirits or guides will I find there?  St. Frideswide, what do you have to say to me?  What serendipity will I encounter?

GRATITUDE:
I am grateful for the graciousness of so many people who are making this trip to England possible:

• the Vegesna Family for setting up the Grants for teachers to do more with their professional development
• the Grant committee for considering and choosing my application
• Westminster Choir College/Oxford University/St. Stephen's House for the Choral Institute
• the two main teachers I will be working with: James Jordan and James Whitbourn
• Dr. Ruth Meyer, whose stories of Oxford and Coventry have been an inspiration
• my students who challenge me to greater depths of inner knowledge
• my colleagues, of whom there are many, but a special acknowledgement of David Xiques and Will Skaff
• the people I love the most in my life:  David Harrison, whose perpetual encouragement and whole-hearted support means more than he might ever imagine; my kids, Sarah and Nathan, who love me unconditionally and support me with their love

When the grant opportunity was announced, the inaugural year is this year, I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity but had nothing in mind.  The very next day, I received the announcement of the Choral Institute.  It felt right, and even though I had to make a commitment to the Institute  before the Grants were announced, I went ahead and made that commitment to attend. 

OTHER FEELINGS:
There has been a lot of anxiety around going, not that I doubt my abilities to really dig in musically, but that my conducting instruction has been so meager.  But that is why I need to go . . . to be better, more effective, in my craft.  My primary "school" has been the numerous conductors I've worked with in my adult life.  There are some that are spectacular: Michael Tilson Thomas is among my favorites because he is so clear, and also follows the spirit of the music in performance, making each performance new. There are some, however,  that I hope never to work with again (and probably won't!) 

PREPARATION OF PIECES:
The preparation has been a bit daunting.  The reading required doing physical exercises, and I still am not comfortable with all the new ways of doing things . . . I'm directionally challenged and require repetition (a lot of it) before I can do something in physical space with even a modicum of grace.

The music came much later than anyone expected.  I will be finishing my analysis on the airplane of my second piece, hoping that the JSTOR articles that I downloaded will have enough for me to put together a historical  narrative of sufficient scope.

Both my composers are not deeply documented, either in books or journals, so the bulk of my documents are web-sites, that our librarians would say are "commercial, therefore questionable,"
or reviews of recordings which often are more about the quality of the recording than the music.   However, I think my bibliographies will be acceptable. 

WHITBOURN:  Of one that is so fair and bright
The two pieces for which I am responsible are marvelous pieces.  Of one that is so fair and bright, that the composer, James Whitbourn, says is in locrian mode, beckoned to a place of introspection: questioning why he chose the Victorian version of a Medieval prayer; finding the text to be an intercessory prayer that identified with the one about whom they are interceding before the Blessed Virgin, and the complete release of the burden; and not finding the piece to be locrian but rather phrygian with half cadences. The last is most likely a pedantic discussion, but I really am curious why he sees it as locrian. 

DURUFLÉ: Tantum Ergo

The second piece is by Maurice Duruflé, Tantum Ergo from the Quatre Motets. Duruflé's signature is the referral to Gregorian Chant in his pieces, and this one directly quotes in the soprano line and at a two beat remove from the soprano almost directly quotes in the tenor line, with slight embellishments.  The alto and bass are in counterpoint and there is almost a dissonance occurring on every beat, yet the contrapuntal writing is so skillful that the effect is not of chaotic dissonance but masterful resolution of the dissonances. 

I hope to be posting videos of my own conducting of these works . . . I hear them so differently than the recordings linked above!